"Adventures of Jorbo and Mappy" (House Item)

In-Game Book Text
This book is titled "Adventures of Jorbo and Mappy ". It is the story of two halfling boys and how they happened upon some exciting adventures.

One day, Jorbo and Mappy decided to have an exciting adventure and visit far off lands. Packing their bags, they told their moms what they were about to do. With a kiss to their forehead, both mothers gave the two boys their blessing.

It wasn't too long after they began their journey that they were accosted by an orc. The orc told the two boys that they could not cross the bridge until they both told him a joke. If the joke wasn't funny, he would throw them off of the bridge into the water below.

Below their feet was a lake filled with the deadliest fish ever seen in all of Norrath. The lake boiled and bubbled with the fish anticipating their next meal. Jorbo started with a joke about why the duck crossed the lake. When he got to the punchline, the orc said he heard that one before, and took another drink from his jum-jum mug.

Mappy knew if they were going to escape from this wild predicament, he would have to make up a joke no one ever heard before. He looked at the orc and said, "What does the farmer say when he can't find his rake?" The orc looked confused and said he didn't know. When Mappy gave the punchline, "Where's my rake?", the orc started laughing so hard he fell over into the lake.

Then the orc splashed into the lake, all the fish swam away from him. Behind them, they two friends could hear the sound of other orcs running to see what happened, so they left. Knowing they would be taken prisoner in a big castle if they were seen, they ran for the biggest tree they could find and climbed it as fast as they could.

When they were up in the tree, Jorbo and Mappy started getting hungry. They pulled out the food they brought with them and ate it all. Still hungry, they saw a beehive hanging from one of the branches. Digging inside they dug out a handful of honey and had that for desert. That's when little bumblebee bixies swarmed out and started scolding them.

Knowing they would get in trouble if the bixies told their mothers about taking things without asking, they jumped out of the tree and started running. A short while later, they had escaped both the bixies and the orcs inside a crude shelter buried beneath a hillside. What they didn't know was that the little house wasn't empty.

Inside the house was a wicked old witch who called out to them. This witch had evil magical powers, for she knew their names. She then began asking them mysterious questions about what they were doing, and many questions about their mothers. Soon enough, the two friends realized that she was going to use this information in some horrible spell.

Jorbo and Mappy became very quiet, politely refusing to answer any more questions. At that moment, the witch tried used her magical powers and made a strawberry cake appear in her oven. She offered it to the two boys, and being fully under her spell, they ate half of the cake. Coming to their senses when they were finished eating, they said "thank you" and left to explore even further.

The two friends, barely escaping a horrible fate, realized they needed to be more careful, for the world was very dangerous. Behind them a voice told them that they were quite right. Turning around, they saw that the speaker was an adult halfling. The interesting thing about him was that he had scales like a lizard covering his entire body. Who was this mysterious halfling? Well, that's a tale for another day.